Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
