I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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