my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
