One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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