Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
