My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
