i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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