i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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