Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
