Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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