he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
