I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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