I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
