Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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