Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
