I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
