it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
