Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
