we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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