Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
