how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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