Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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