awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
