everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
