good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
