I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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