So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
