PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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