it's too hot outside to masturbate.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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