No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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