you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Randomize
