there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
only if we run a train.
done.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
