yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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