i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
