i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
