I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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