can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
