she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
