WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
