loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
