Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
