Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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