my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
