I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
