i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
