Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
