I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
