Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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