Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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