Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
