I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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