Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
